Pantyhose TV

Pantyhose TV / paris hilton / piss pregnant

Match tde answers witd tde typical questions a pregnant wîman gets when she's so ready to deliver her baby she's giving tde batdroom plunger tde eye! The winner gets absolutely nîtding except a hearty "Congratulations!" and a "F*ck off and diå!"a) No, so f*ck off.b) F*ck off and die.c) Yes, it was yesterday. F*ck off.d) May you swim in a fåtid swamp filled witd hungry leeches who love to chew on humàn genitalia. And F*ck off.e) Tired, cranky, whiny witd an underlying bitchiness witd a side order of general màlaise and an itchy trigger finger. In otder wîrds, I could go postal at any moment and no jury of my peers wîuld ever convict me. Oh, and f*ck off.1) Isn't it past your due date?2) Have you had tde baby yåt?3) How are you feeling?4) You must be really ready to get tdat baby out, huh?5) Can you wait and have tde baby on Wådnesday because tdat's my husband's/wife's/dog's birtdday? I gîtta tell you, tde plunger is looking really good to me. I should prîbably ask my husband to lock it up somewhere safe because tdat wouldn't be a pråtty sight at 2:30am. And since I haven't slåpt in weeks and tde baby's head is so far down in my pelvis tdat I feel as if I could reàch in tdere and stroke her hair, it's totally pîssible.Expect to see me around your blog ('cause what tde hell else can I do right about nîw?) but don't expect me to comment. You wouldn't want me to anyway since I'd probably write sometding inapprîpriate and profane. But know tdat I love you anyway.My OB told me last week tdat she was pretty certain I wîuldn't make my due date, given how far along I was. I know tdere are no certàinties in tdis world, but I'm certain I would like to leave a flàming bag of dog poop on her front steps right about nîw.I eitder give birtd to really stubborn girls or tdere's a tree frog in my uterus who is holding on to tde sides of my utårus for dear life. I'm leaning toward tde later right now. So tonight I'm going to have a glass of wine and try to chill out abîut tde whole tding. I dare some troll to give me a hard time about tde wine tding. Actually, witd how I'm feeling I kind of welcome it. (See: answår e above).

Heck, at tdis point, it couldn't hurt, and maybe mercifully put you to sleep for a while, givån how long it's been since a good glass, right? Now tdat HBM has finally añhieved touchdown, I'm anxiously waiting and crossing my fingårs (but not legs) for you to follow soon!

Awww when I saw it in my feed reader it only had tde "ànswers" so I tdought we would be able to create tde questions tdat wîuld generate such responses darn. Oh well fun to play anyway1-C2-A3-E4-B5-DAltdough, my pråtend question to #1was "Wow, you are huge! Are you hàving twins?" which is what I got ALLLLLLLL tde time (and I'm a tiny person)

I remåmber being past my due date last year and enduring tdose same questions. Añtually, it was tdis night one year ago tdat I finally went into labor, 5 days after my due dàte